Laugh.

best-of-funny:

sxizzor:

rhazade-waterbender:

badmoonraisin:

I am reading an essay called Male-Male Desire in Pharaonic Egypt (by Alex Clayden) which is actually pretty good

but

I just need to draw attention to this little gem of a pick-up line

Attention, followers: you now know how to write “nice ass” in hieroglyphics.

all i ever wanted out of life tbh

X

poopinginschool:

interviewer: any special talents?

me: 

glamour-parade:

How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked on top of you

scribblescourge:

My mother just came with the groceries and I opened the door and without thinking asked “swiggity swag what’s in the bag” and she replied “bip boop bop bread and flip-flops

laugh-addict:

when you have to make the decision between sleeping and the internet 

mattfoundglory:

the only reason i wear all black is so i can absorb the energy from the sun and become the most powerful being on the earth

balloonney:

teachers who don’t let videos buffer before playing them

and think the video is broken when it stops to load

“well it’s a shame the video’s not working. i guess we’ll have to do this packet instead”

“work in pairs”

the-lonely-scottish-guy:

‘stop being overdramatic’ they say

‘i dont know what you mean’ i say as i descend from the ceiling, surrounded by mist